This is Part Two of the admittedly lengthy story of one man’s ride through a huge field of players in a State Championship Tournament.

If you missed Part One, you should check here first. Make sure you read the story in order, or you may miss something important and/or funny.

Part Two

I had just finished sideboarding my deck, shuffling, and offering a cut. My mouthy opponent was still babbling to his buddy as if he had not just received what would most likely be the worst beating he would take all day. I sat and watched him shuffling his deck. As he did so, he told me about how strong his build was against Affinity and that it is not polite to lie to people. I offered that it is not polite to sprout horns and be an ass either, and he just smiled. I noticed that he was taking a long time to shuffle the deck, almost as if he was trying to stall. Little did he know that the round clock was right behind his head and I could plainly see that I had 45 minutes to beat him one more time. It is a common tactic used by veteran players to try and slow the pace of the game down considerably in hopes of winning game two with only a few minutes left in the round. The theory is that with the game tied at 1-1, our shuffling and cutting would take up the rest of the time, which would end up drawing the match out 1-1-1 instead of him losing 1-2. He was trying to do that to me; except that I too knew the tactic he was employing.

Finally, he stopped shuffling and offered a cut. Did I really need to cut it? I didn't know if I could. I think he fused the sleeves together with all the friction of his 95 riffle shuffles. I did, however, politely cut his deck in my normal fashion, cutting three cards from the bottom. He looked at me strangely and then re-cut the deck himself. I wonder if he expected me to call a judge or something.

I drew my opening hand and I thought to myself that my deck really didn’t like him. I drew an almost identical hand this time, except I had a City of Brass wannabe instead of a Mountain. This time around he made his third land drop, and played his Astral Slide. I should note here that on turn two he did not play a Sacred Ground. Not that it mattered. I followed his turn by playing an Oblivion Stone.

The next turn he stopped to think for a moment and then began cycling on his turn. “Is he a deck monkey or what?” I followed that up with a fourth land and a Firecat to his face. As if he didn’t learn his lesson from game one and last turn, he again cycled out on his turn, presumably in search of a Circle of Protection: Red (COP: Red). Turn five yielded another Firecat to his face. Turn six came around and I thought he finally learned, as he simply passed turn. “You know, if you show me a Firecat I will concede.” So I revealed the Firecat and he swore loudly. “This guy is either going to beat all your asses or is the luckiest guy in the world!” With that he conceded the game and match.

“Or... my deck hates you more than it hates me,” I thought to myself. I shook his hand and gave the judge the score card. “Now where is the bathroom around this place?”

I walked around the hall for a little while scouting decks and looking for my team members. “Affinity, Affinity, Slide, UW Control, Red Deck Wins, Affinity, Slide, Slide, Mono Black Control, Affinity... ah, there is Patrick.”

“How bad was it?” He asks.

“Pretty bad.”

“Ow. Did you at least draw land?”

“Yea.”

“Did you at least win a game?”

“Yea.”

“That’s good. Three points is better than none, right?”

“That’s right.”

“Did you win game one or two?”

“Both.” With that I walked away in search of other people to watch.

“What the… good job!”

I found a table and sat down to wait as the others slowly began to wrap up their rounds. We did alright as a team, apparently. Sam lost, Ryan won, Tysene won, and Patrick won. Sam didn’t even get a game, which is why it was only alright. Soon after Patrick’s slow-rolling self showed up, the next round pairings went up.

“PAIRINGS!”

“Man, they are not wasting any time today.”

But that actually worked in my favor, as no one had time to ask me about my game, so I couldn’t tell my story and dwell on it and ruin the slight bit of confidence that I had built up.

As I fought through the crowd, I heard Patrick yell out, “Didn’t you win?”

“Yea, swept. Why?”

“You are at table 39.” I rolled my eyes and began to fight my way back out of the crowd. “How the heck do I win at table six and then fall 33 tables? Oh well, I guess that is how the cookie crumbles. Speaking of which, I wonder if the vendor would be interested in ripping me off for a cookie after this match? I have a bit of the grum-bellies and the orange juice from earlier is only slightly hurting my stomach now. I should really fill it with something nutritious.”

How's about a ham & cheese, Chris? ~Streetz~

I reached my table first and had a seat. I know from experience that you don’t get your cards out until your opponent is sitting in front of you. You never know who he is and could be standing behind you looking at the face of your cards and getting the advantage. Finally he arrived.

He was a younger guy from my estimation, probably around 22 or so. Medium build, normal hair, no backpacks, no lunch boxes, he might even have had a job. I offered my name and hand and he gladly accepted. Wow, a nice turn of events for a change. I asked him what he played last round and he only said one word, “Affinity.”

“Good Affinity or bad Affinity?” I asked, trying to sound like I knew what I was talking about.

“Good Affinity. He got everything to work correctly, but he couldn’t get the last few points across.” “Thanks for telling me you are playing control.” “The good news is that I drew into a Plains in time to correct game one and establish my board.” “Slide. Wow, 2-0 to start the tournament? Can I be so lucky?”

“Well, congratulations on your win and good luck to you.” I smiled to him in as best a friendly smile as I could muster to a man on death’s doorstep.

“So what did you play last round?” He asked with a returned smile.

“Slide.”

“Good Slide or Bad Slide?”

“I don’t know, he never got a chance to do anything.” At this his confidence folded before my eyes and I noticed that his fingers were shaking a little bit while shuffling. I guessed right.

The Head Official announced the beginning of the round and he played a Plains. We took turns putting lands into play and passing until on turn three he played an Astral Slide. I followed that up by Molten Raining his Plains. While I was still pointing at the Plains, he looked up at me and asked, “Land Destruction? Why would you play Land Destruction? It doesn’t make sense. Red Deck Wins kills you easily!”

“True in most cases,” I responded, Molten Rain still in my fingers, pointing at the Plains. “However, something I took into consideration is that Slide kills Red Deck Wins. Also, Slide kills Affinity. Also, Affinity kills Red Deck Wins. So... I will just kill Slide and be happy. Besides, I really like killing Plains, like that one right…” I tapped the Plains again with the corner of the Molten Rain, “there.”

The game went very much my way. I drew into more and more Land Destruction (LD) and he drew into more and more Exalted Angels. How did I know? Because he was discarding them by the bushel. Eventually, I drew into a Stalking Stone, activated it and beat him senseless with my manland.

“I think I am going to concede the round to you.” I looked at him with a pang of disappointment. I finally was getting some cooperation from my deck and this guy wanted to concede!

“Why would you do that? I don’t want to win like that.”

“I didn’t expect LD here today and so I didn’t sideboard Sacred Ground. You are going to annihilate me.” True. He shuffled his deck and drew a second opening hand and looked at it for a moment. “I do concede.” Then he signed the score card and departed slowly. I don’t think I ever felt so bad for an opponent before. Now that I think about it, he really was not very prepared. Even Red Deck Wins brings in some LD when it comes to certain match-ups.

After giving the judge my slip, I again hit the restroom and waited for my comrades to finish up. This time around, Sam “mauled” his opponent. Tysene won his game and so did Ryan. Patrick, however, didn’t fare so well. He seemed upset about the match, but that is how he is: ultra-overly competitive.

Patrick sulked around for a bit, which was fairly entertaining. He soon remembered that he had a friend in need of his support - namely, me - and recovered in time to come to my side and ask about my match. He then began to talk to my deck again. I couldn’t understand him. Just when I thought things were beginning to return to normal, he took my deck and again started talking to it, all the while some strange guy walked by wearing red suspenders with blue jeans, a white t-shirt and a bow tie loosely synched around his neck. I couldn’t make this stuff up.

In time, Patrick returned the deck to me.

“PAIRINGS!”

“Aren’t you glad I talked you into playing?” he asked with a knowing smile. “I swear, if he winks at me, I will fight him.... Damn, I think I have to fight him now.”

Another battle through the crowd, and another disappointment. Even though I am 2-0, I still fell backward; this time sitting at table 60. “Is it possible that I need to lose a game to get to table one?”

As I approached the table, I realized that I must have made a mistake, as there were already two people sitting at table 60. I hustled back to check the board and found no error on my part. I spent the time returning to the table deciding how to best tell this guy to get the hell out of my seat.

“Dude, you’re in my seat.”

“I know, I am just talking to my friend.”

“Oh, ok. Well, are you going to go play your round?”

“No, I am just watching this time.”

“Oh, ok. Well then go on and sit next to him.”

“Thanks, but I’d rather just sit over here next to you. I am sure you won’t mind much right?”

“Judge!” That was all it took. The little kid scurried away faster than a cheeseburger running from Patrick. I sat down and realization again set in. Not only was the running man a young kid, so was my opponent. By the looks of things, I would have wagered him to be around 10 years old, which yielded one of two decks possible. He could have beeen playing Green Beats or White Weenie. Green Beats probably would whoop my deck, while White Weenie wouldn’t stand much of a chance.

“How are you doing kid? The name is Chris.” I offered my hand.

“Tim.” He didn’t offer his.

“It’s not polite to not shake my hand you know.” He smiled a bit and offered his hand. The reason he didn’t offer was because he was shaking like a leaf.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. Don’t be nervous either. You are 2-0 right? You’re doing good so far.”

“I am 1-1.” “Crap, I was randomly paired down. My scores are going to suffer from this. Damn my luck all to hell.”

“So what have you seen so far?”

“I... I got beat by Affinity pretty bad. I beat some janky mixed up deck earlier. He was disqualified for playing cards that had rotated out.” “Ah, so his deck is slow, and he should be 0-2, but some guy didn’t know his head from a hole in the ground. I would guess him to be playing White Weenie, then. But that doesn’t make sense; why wouldn’t he be playing four Wrath of Gods and Akroma’s Vengeance in his side, plus Disenchant-type spells? He should have had his way with Affinity.” “What are you playing?”

I purposely misunderstood his question and tested the water some more. “I played Slide twice and tore them both up. They didn’t stand much of a chance.”

“Wow, Slide is tough. How did you beat them?”

“I’m good. What can I say?” I smiled softly. “Nah, they were both mana screwed. I just took advantage of them.” “There is your hint, let’s see if it helps or not.”

We shuffled up and he committed a noobie mistake. He allowed a card to fall out of his library as he was shuffling; face up. A Silver Knight. “White Weenie it is. I wonder what he is going to try to do.”

Plains, go. “What? How is he going to out-race me with nothing on the board?” Mountain, go. Plains, go “What? Have I underestimated the kid? Oh boy, let’s see, he could be playing his big brother’s Mono White Control, but I don’t think that hurts me, as his creatures are too big to get into play. Silver Knight eliminates Firecats and survives Starstorm. Oh crap if he plays a Worship, I almost can’t get rid of it!” Mountain, cycle a Cougar, get a Mountain, go. Plains, Leonin Skyhunter, Bonesplitter, go. *sigh of relief* “There we go, so it is White Weenie.”

My turn started the LD, as I popped a Plains with a Stone Rain. He in turn attacked with the cat for four. I then Demolished another Plains. He played a Tundra Wolf and attacked with the cat again. I played an Oblivion Stone and mountaincycled again.

My next turn was the game as I wiped the board and he never drew another land, and he couldn’t race my manland with his new Tundra Wolf.

I decided to be ruthless in game two, so I brought in my other two Oblivion Stones and three Pyroclasms. On my second turn I cast said Pyroclasm, and killed two Tundra Wolves and a Savannah Lions. For those of you not keeping score at home, that is one card to kill three on turn two, leaving him with two lands in play and three cards in hand. Oh and my hand had a Molten Rain, a Starstorm, and an Oblivion Stone. Once I put my third land down and popped his second land, he revealed that he kept a one land hand, and luckily drew a land on his first draw phase. “Ugh. I killed your land in the first game, right?”

“Good game kid, keep up the practice and you will get there.” What do you say to someone you just owned who is 15 years younger than you?

3-0, 6-0, they couldn’t possibly send me back further, could they?

Check back next time and find out.

cpn

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